Thursday, March 13, 2008

Millennial enlightenment from spiritual humorist Steve Bhaerman

Some funnies from Steve Bhaerman, aka Swami Beyondananda. Find more from Steve at

Guidelines for Millennial Enlightenment:

1. Be a Fundamentalist--make sure the Fun always comes before the Mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day, that will ensure reguhilarity.

2. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

3. It is true. If we go through life thinking too-heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdiveness Training class:
*Don't get even, get odd.*

4. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little piece there, pretty soon all the pieces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

5. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

6. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The good news is: IT ISN'T LOCKED!!!

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